Finding True Harmony
by Midgardian
Summary: Quistis falls into a pool of her own depression. Will her true love be able to save her, or will her mountain crumble into the pool like it has been forseen?
1. Out of the Blue

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Final Fantasy 8. It's a copyrighted product of Squaresoft.  
  
A/N: This is my first fanfic, let alone my first attempt at something somewhat romantic, but it just kind of got me made of how Squall gets with Rinoa in Final Fantasy 8, and not with Quistis, so it's my turn to change things!  
  
Chapter One  
  
The day was solemn, writhing by like an unchangeable dream. Far away in the sky the sun could be seen shining extravagantly, like the first fire as it shone brilliantly. A dull wind fluttered by as a woman of no more than 18 walked down a narrow path, her hair shining brightly from the untamed sun. All around her large trees loomed away into the distance, as she stepped upped the forbidding stairs back into her home of many years, Balamb Garden.  
  
Quistis was an important figure at the Garden. She was a professor who became a SeeD at a very young age. An the outside she mostly seemed jubilant and content, but contrastingly on the inside Quistis was a large pool of forgotten waters that wished for some unknown thing to find its way there, to once again send ripples through her fading waters.  
  
Just like always, Quistis thought to herself, there he is.  
  
Indeed he was there. One who worshipped the ground on which she walked, Zell Dincht. It had been known now for about a year that Zell had feelings for Quistis, but unfortunately for him she did not feel the same. In fact, she quite despised the constant worshipping. Even her friends were starting to get annoyed by the constant following, but to be nice Quistis did nothing about it. She kind of liked the idea of having such a devoted follower, although it got annoying often.  
  
Quistis let Zell stay around her all the time and act as if they were together, just because of the fear she to break someone else's heart, for hers had already teetered on the edge.  
  
"Hey Quistis!" Zell enthusiastically called, "I've been waiting for you!"  
  
"I know Zell, like always. I'm heading up to Cid's office to deliver some things, then I'm off to the cafeteria for lunch. Why don't you go on over there and I'll meet you there."  
  
Of course she did not wish to meet him there, but she could use some company to eat with. Most of the Trepies only worshipped her from a distance, and life was starting to get lonely.  
  
After she had said her words Zell nodded and headed the other direction towards the cafeteria to wait for her.  
  
Quietly she made her way to the elevator to ascend to Cid's office. Once she had reached the elevator she took the short flight up and entered the garden's headmaster's office.  
  
All around books and notes lay . Cid was certainly a man of education, and it was beyond Quistis why he never wished to share his knowledge of such skill and fighting with everyone else by becoming an instructor.  
  
When Quistis stepped into his office, a large smile registered on Cid's face as he motioned her to sit.  
  
"Ah, Quistis, at last! Have you brought the papers from Galbadia as I had wished?"  
  
"Indeed, headmaster. They are all here as you wanted."  
  
"Good, good. Hand them here." And with that Quistis handed the headmaster the few papers she had been carrying with a hesitant posture. He nodded in agreement and began hastily looking over them. I don't mean to rush you off," Cid began, "but I have much work to do. There are a few papers over on the table that I wish for you to take to the infirmary. Thanks again for this."  
  
With those final words Quistis bowed slightly and headed to the table to pick up the papers that Cid had referred to. There were a few normal sized lined sheets of paper filled with Cid's illegible handwriting. Quistis took the papers and descended back down on the elevator.  
  
You're an instructor Trepe, not a paper woman, was her only thought as she made her way back to the garden's main floor.  
  
When she made it back to the ground floor she headed off towards the infirmary. Zell can wait just a while longer, she though, no rush.  
  
Slowly she made her way down the hallway, towards the main quad. No one was around, leaving her to mercilessly dive into her own thoughts. Silently she went on until a stone was thrown into her pool of thought, leaving unfamiliar ripples to steadily waver.  
  
Without warning someone who had been running hastily down the hall crashed into her. Quistis went flying sideways, as all of Cid's papers went flying in every direction. The person who had ran into her still stood, although he was a little bent from loss of breath.  
  
At the time she couldn't tell who it was that had done this, until she looked up at the stranger. A teenager of maybe 17 stood before her, leather jacket hastily inflating and deflating from his hard breathing. His dark brown hair shone valiantly in the lighting, and his dark eyes stared right into hers. For a moment they just gazed at each other, until Quistis realized who it was that had run into her. It was Squall Leonheart, a student of hers although he was only a year younger.  
  
Squall began to blush embarrassedly. Tentatively he lowered his hand towards her, trying to help her up. With slight hesitation Quistis took his hand and was hoisted back to her feet.  
  
"I'm so sorry Quistis, uh, Miss Trepe," Squall began, "I was just in a hurry to..."  
  
"Don't worry Squall, no big deal," Were the only words she could muster. Slowly she bent down to grasp one the papers that had fallen, when without notice another hand had fallen to hers, apparently trying to pick up the same fallen paper.  
  
The hand was Squall's of course, and he retracted it with a frightened stare.  
  
"Don't worry Squall, I can handle this. You just go on to where you are off to." With that Squall nodded and headed down the hallway again, this time at a slower pace.  
  
As Quistis slowly picked up Cid's fallen papers, she though quietly to herself. She had known Squall for a very long time, although she wasn't exactly able to remember how long. Recently rumors had been growing around her class, and even some parts of the garden that Squall had feelings for her. She thought this foolish, for she had once had feelings for him, but they were cast down like a falling mountain, before he even knew about the feelings. But perhaps everyone was right. A lot of her friends, especially the ones that talked to Squall a lot(Although a lot to Squall is only a few words) like Rinoa and Selphie, had told her that Squall said that feelings had grown in his heart for her. Of course she didn't believe it. What foolishness, she though, he'll never feel like that towards you.  
  
Suddenly Quistis felt light headed as she began to softly weep. Yeah Trepe, no one will ever feel like that towards you. You are nothing. You will never be anything.  
  
Stealthily light began to fade, and darkness took Quistis away into her mind, right into the drying pool that soon could house no stable being....  
  
A/N: I'll try to update as much as possible, although who knows how much that is. The next chapters will probably be more eventful(or possibly less eventful) than this one, but hey bare with me, this is my first attempt at romance. 


	2. And Into the Black

A/N: I would just like to start off by saying thinks for the review! I know my grammar and spelling last chapter wasn't too great, mainly because I rushed into posting the chapter, thinking I'd be able to edit out the mistakes after I posted it. Not the cause, so I apologize for the spelling and such. This chapter ended up being less eventful, but more important then I expected, so bear with me for a while. So without any further adieu, Chapter Two  
  
Suddenly light began to return. Although this unworldly transition seemed to last for hours, light slowly appeared in the far corners of what ever foreign land Quistis had landed in.  
  
As she looked out into the far reaches of the new universe, whispering shadows seemed to dance and mock her, as if she landed in a world where all were against her. Of course, she did not know where she was or why she was there. In fact, not even the slightest memory of the events that led to this moment would appear in her mind.  
  
As if in some possessed trance, Quistis looked around, light eyes searching the distance. Slowly she looked to the ground. With fright she noticed she stood upon a large pool of water, gleaming dully in the half-light. In it, only slight shadows could be seen, wailing and moaning, as if some untamed ghoul had taken away their insecure souls.  
  
With a frightened pace, Quistis began her long trek to the other side of the pool. With every deeming step she took, a slight reverberation of sound could be heard. Slowly she treaded on, weary and frightened.  
  
Suddenly a slight thought whispered in her mind. "You're stuck, Trepe," it said. "Good going, you really messed up this time." Slight tears rolled down her face.  
  
The tears slowly ran down her cheeks, hitting the pools surface. The tears caused not even a slight interference in the pool's surface.  
  
As if in response of her frightened tears, an echoing whimper began to slowly make its mark in the seemingly forgotten land. Quistis looked all around, trying to find where this new soft crying may be coming from. The crying, which was becoming much more sporadic now, seemed to be coming from the voice of a small child.  
  
And precisely as Quistis thought, she looked slowly to the west to see a small child with her face in her hands, singing a slow comfort rhyme as tears hastily fell all around her.  
  
With sheer terror Quistis recognized this child. It was herself, some 10 years before, when she had been only a child. Quistis dared not get closer to her younger self, and stayed a safe distance of about 20 feet.  
  
The Young Quistis slowly looked up, still chanting a slow song. "Estuans interius, ira vehementi, sors immanis, et inanis, veni, veni, venias, ne me mori facias." The slow chant echoed into the darkness. As the child's eyes met Quistis's, her crying and chanting seemed to die down slowly, until it was no more.  
  
The child got up slowly, as Quistis looked at her amazedly. Once the forlorn child was completely standing upright, she hesitantly opened her mouth, as if she was about to say something. Just as suddenly as she had opened it, she once again closed it, as tears began falling down her pale cheeks again. The Young Quistis once more began to move, but this time her arm came up slowly, while reddish tears flowed gently out of her gazing eyes. The child now stood completely erect, pointing into the distance straight in front of her, to the east.  
  
Quistis, without hesitation, looked back to where the child seemed to be pointing. The child nodded once, as if reassuring Quistis. With the nod, Quistis turned her body completely around, staring now into the other side of the large pool, where still no life seemed to come. Quistis looked back slowly, as if to reassure herself that the young her still stood behind. With horror, she realized that the child indeed was not there, but instead a small tombstone lied, with a red fluid like substance rushing out of it, hitting the water surface with the only slightest of ripples.  
  
Quistis hastily began to run towards the tombstone, in order to read the words of which it told. However, this was not what happened. Quistis found herself running in the complete opposite direction of her original course. She looked back to see the small gray stone shining dully in the darkened light, and with a flash, it was gone.  
  
She turned her head back around to gaze back in the direction that the child had pointed her to. With a sudden flare, a devastating thought entered Quistis's head. What if the direction she now looked was indeed the direction of which the child had once stood, and that behind her was actually where she wanted to go. With a sigh of frustration she began to slowly weep once more. This time, however, she slowly urged herself towards the ground so she could sit and try to rationalize through what was happening.  
  
A dense fog began to engulf her, as a dark shadow began to dance right in front of her. A dark mountain rose solemnly in front of her, engulfing all the rest of the light that had been spared from the fog. Quistis was not able to tell exactly how far the mountain was from her, but it was easy to see it looming palely in front of her, for it was the only thing for miles.  
  
Without warning, Quistis saw a dark figure fall from the mountain, free falling indefinitely towards the unconscious pool. No sound was emitted from the unknown figure, as slowly it prepared itself to be engulfed by the dark waters, and in fact, as it hit the water, it was engulfed, and with it, the mountain too crumbled and fell slowly towards the pool.  
  
Slight ripples began to emerge all over the pool, even under Quistis's feet where nothing had moved in quite a while.  
  
Without any instance of realization, Quistis began to walk tirelessly towards the site of the devastation, as if some unworldly force was pulling her towards it.  
  
Once she reached the site, nothing was able to be seen. She looked slowly down into the dark waters, looking for some sign of what had just happened. Nothing could be seen.  
  
Suddenly however, Quistis's reflection came dully off of the placid waters. Both faces looked at each other in disappointment. It seemed to Quistis that the face in the water was mocking her. It pained her to see her face in the dark waters, for it reflected her in an evil and weathered manner. Tears began to run down her cheeks once more. As they hit the water's surface, the face began to move and blink on its own.  
  
"Yes, cry Trepe, it will soon be the end anyway," it said to her with a tone of spite, "You'll never amount to anything. Nothing. Just let the waters take you now. It's better than going on with this torture of a life you have created for us. Come Quistis my dear, come."  
  
With that water began to bubble and churn under Quistis's feet. She looked down incredulously. Under her, dark hands grasped at her ankles, pulling her slowly down towards the victorious pool.  
  
"Finally," the water's face said as Quistis was pulled down under the merciless water, "you are mine."  
  
Quistis put up no resistance. She knew she could do nothing, the waters would claim her someway or another. It was over, it was the end. She slowly closed her eyes and hoped for the best. Dark laughter echoed in the distance. The water now lied as far up as her shoulders. Without realization she once more opened her eyes. In front of her the young her stood, still crying softly. The chant rolled softly off of her tongue. Slowly the child held out her hand to grasp Quistis, but before she could reach up and grab it, Quistis knew it was too late. With one final breath, Quistis was pulled into the laughing pool, her mirrored face staring at her darkly.  
  
A/N: Okay, this chapter went in a far different direction then I expected, a lot more was supposed to happen. I didn't expect this sequence to last so long, and since any other event would kind of shatter the importance of this one, I'll just keep the chapter as only this. Hope you are enjoying! Review if you want. 


	3. Emerging While Diving In

A/N: Okay it's been a while, but I'm going to try to finally tackle chapter three. It's kind of late so let us see how I do. Thanks to those who have reviewed by the way! Without any further interruption, Chapter Three  
  
Light slowly faded back, as night and day were once more distinguished. Quistis looked around foolishly, wandering where she was, and what she was still doing alive. The only thoughts that could go through her head was about the odd universe were the young version of her had lived. Where was she now?  
  
Slowly her brain tumbled into recollection. She was in the infirmary, the very place she had been sent to. But how had she arrived there?  
  
As she looked around she saw no sign of the doctor. Slowly she remembered Cid's papers. Perhaps the doctor had already taken them, for there was no sign of them anywhere. She also remembered the run in with Squall, and the silent tears that masked her face. She sighed in embarrassment. Hopefully no one, especially Squall, had seen her like that.  
  
Quistis slowly moved to a sitting position, feeling a small ache in her back. She suddenly wondered how long she had been lying in the bed, and how long Zell had been waiting for her.  
  
Looking for answers she raised herself up, and began to walk towards the door. Just as she reached it, Dr. Kadowaki entered with a grave smile on her face.  
  
Quistis began, "Doctor, what happened? Why am I in here? How long was I...?"  
  
"Slow down child," the doctor replied soothingly, "you had a slight nervous reaction to what I'd say is stress, but you will be fine. You've only been asleep for about an hour. Luckily the boy found you in the hallway."  
  
Quistis looked at the doctor with a gaze of puzzlement. "Boy? What boy? Who brought me here?"  
  
"That boy not too much younger than you that's in your class. What's his name? Brown hair, dark eyes," the doctor slowly accounted.  
  
"Squall?" Quistis was not sure if this was who had brought her, but it was the first name that came to her head. Indeed, she had hopped it was him that had helped her.  
  
"Ah yes, Squall. That's his name. Brought you in a little while ago, found you lying in the hallway, he did."  
  
Quistis smiled victoriously. "I think I should be going doctor, I have some business to take care of. By the way," she began again, "did you receive the papers Cid had sent to you?"  
  
The doctor nodded slowly and told Quistis she would send Cid her answer on her own. Quistis nodded and headed out the door towards the cafeteria to see if Zell was still there waiting for her.  
  
Once she reached the quad she saw Squall and Rinoa in the distance, sitting at a table talking. This was a ritual of theirs, for everyday at about the same time they would go and talk about who knew what. Quistis knew of the rumors this brought. Many people believed that Squall liked Rinoa because he was around her so much. But Quistis knew Squall was much more complex then that. Some people even thought that Rinoa had feelings for Squall, although she already had a boyfriend. Whatever the case was, Quistis didn't care at the moment, for Squall was there and it was a chance for her to approach him to thank him.  
  
As she got closer to them, they noticed her and waved slowly. It seemed like Rinoa was about to say something when Quistis cut her short, "Sorry Rinoa, I can't talk long. I just wanted to thank Squall for taking me to the infirmary. I'm just under too much stress these days." Of course she lied about the cause of her breakdown. And of course she wouldn't tell either of them the dream, or so she thought it was a dream now, that she had had.  
  
Squall looked at her with a high level of embarrassment. "Uh...no problem." He slowly jumbled through the words, staring halfway at the ground and halfway at Quistis.  
  
Quistis could tell he was embarrassed so she just nodded slightly and bid both of them farewell. Hastily she headed towards the cafeteria once more. Once she reached it, she stood in the doorway and vigorously tried to find Zell.  
  
She searched for about 2 minutes when she saw him near the back, sitting with his back towards her. Without hesitation she headed to his table.  
  
Once she had reached it she smiled graciously at him. "Starting to think I wouldn't show up, huh?"  
  
With those words Zell turned around and saw his beautiful love behind him. He smiled ecstatically and motioned her to sit next to him.  
  
"Sorry I took so long; my errands were longer than I thought they would be." She didn't wish to get into the whole fainting and dream with him right now, she just wanted to forget it for the present.  
  
For a moment both of them stared into each others eyes in a dazzling trance. Without notice, Quistis felt something warm touch her hand. Presently Zell had grasped her hand in his own, still staring into her burning eyes. She pulled back startled.  
  
"What's going on?" Quistis asked curiously. She knew what was going on, after all this time, Zell was making a move, and unless she wanted to be with him, she had to do something.  
  
He broke the gaze and looked down slowly. "I'm sorry for this to be so sudden, but you are the best thing I have. I may seem cocky and stubborn sometimes, but I don't want to be like that around you anymore, because it's just not me." This startled Quistis. She had never seen a side of Zell as soft as this. She knew what was coming, and she dreaded it terribly.  
  
"I know you have probably known this for a long time, but I just feel I must say it allowed. I love you Quistis." Zell's face turned a dark red color. "I want to be with you forever Quistis. I have you feeling you are in love with me also."  
  
These words almost made Quistis laugh, but she held back. She knew she had been bringing around the wrong impression for too long, and that it would eventually lead to something like this. She couldn't tall him the truth. She couldn't do that to him.  
  
But then she that of Squall. Maybe there was a chance for them. Maybe she could finally get what she had desired for so long. She was now faced with an extremely hard choice. If she told Zell how she really felt she would probably lose him as a friend. But also, she might have a chance with Squall. But if she decided to keep the charade going with Zell, then she'd never get this chance. She knew what she had to do. Suddenly, some sort of flame burned inside her that had never before, as she poured out the truth to Zell.  
  
"I'm sorry Zell, but I have no feelings at all for you. I didn't want to say anything before because I was afraid to hurt your feelings, but now is the time I must say something. You are a great friend, more then I could ever wish for, but that's all you are, a friend. Please understand this; please don't let this hurt our friendship."  
  
Zell just stared at her stunned. This wasn't what he had expected at all. Without notice his tough bubbly exterior shattered away, like glass that was subject to too much force. Slowly the shards of Zell fell right into Quistis' dieing waters, causing rippled to erupt everywhere.  
  
Zell continued to stare, as Quistis tried to find something comforting to say. Nothing came. Tears slowly rolled down Zell's face. Quistis was in a state of immense terror. She had no idea what she was supposed to do. Nothing like this had ever surfaced before.  
  
Zell's crying began to worsen as he hastily rose. Not wasting a minute, Zell was running towards the cafeteria door, crying softly into his hands. Everyone just sat, staring at him repulsively. Once he had exited, the cafeteria erupted into voices once more. This time however, they were not about the pervious gossip everyone had been talking about. Now everyone was focused on Zell. And for many days this would be the talk of Balamb Garden.  
  
Quistis looked around, scared and forlorn. Confused and battered. Feeling the utter need to scream she also rose, and headed towards the door. No one had ever seen her cry before, except the child in her dream, and she didn't want someone to see her now. Her pace hastened as she left the cafeteria and entered the quad, towards her dorm. She looked up to see the table that Rinoa and Squall had earlier occupied was now empty. She wanted to see his face once more. She wanted something good to come out of this pool of rotten deed.  
  
Once she had reached her dorm room, she slammed the door closed, jumped on her bed, and slowly cried into her pillow. She felt like a foolish little girl, but it was the only thing she knew to do.  
  
Her thoughts began to strangle her. "I thought you were smarter than this Trepe. How could you be such a fool? Now you and Zell are both laughing stocks, and it's all your fault."  
  
Slowly, while wishing her life would suddenly end that night, Quistis drifted into a slow, unclaiming sleep.  
  
This same pattern continued for nearly a week. Every night she wept herself to sleep, thinking about how foolish she was. For that whole time she never left her room, and the whole garden became increasingly worried. She had missed 4 days of teaching, and Cid began to get angered.  
  
After the week had gone by and Quistis had not been in her classroom to teach, Cid decided to go see her. It was early morning, and the sun solemnly draped the garden in its own world. Quistis awoke to a slight knock on the door. At the present she wished to speak to no one, but when the voice of Cid reached her ears she knew it was important.  
  
Cid entered to find the dorm a mess. Things were strewn all about in an un- orderly manner. Quistis looked at the headmaster in frustration, slight tears welling up in her already puffy eyes. The headmaster motioned to her, telling her she was able to sit once more. With a sigh, she plopped back onto her bed. Cid looked at her in a strictly business manner.  
  
"I don't know exactly what has happened to you in the last few days, and that is not my problem. I can guess, for rumors are spreading all over the garden. Whatever happened is no excuse however, for not fulfilling your responsibility. You are to teach your students, and for the last 4 days, you have no fulfilled this."  
  
Quistis slowly tried to speak. Her voice started out weak, but slowly rose to its normal tone. "I'm extremely sorry, headmaster. Things have just been rough."  
  
"I know, but you cannot let your social life get in the way of your work. I'm sorry to say, but if you miss just one more day of work, or one more incident like this happens, I will have to demote you."  
  
Quistis looked at him in a remorseful manner. He began once more. "Tomorrow is the final day before the SeeD exam. I expect you to be in your classroom, on time, to finish those student' education. I want them in tip top shape for the exam. Do you understand me?"  
  
Quistis nodded hesitantly. Cid looked at her and smile. Just as suddenly as he had come, he once more got up, and headed out the door.  
  
Quistis locked the door again and headed over to the mirror. She looked at herself. Swollen, disused, forgotten. She felt ashamed of herself. She had let herself go. No great SeeD, let alone an instructor, would do this. The exam was in two days, and her students had to be prepared. She nodded quietly and knew she would have to get herself ready for the next day's lesson. She hastily began.  
  
Later that night another knock came at the door. Quistis walked over to open it. It was Squall.  
  
She looked at him in amazement. The reason for his appearance at her dorm could not find itself into her mind.  
  
"Hey, I just came to see how you were doing. Can I come in?" Quistis looked at him hesitantly and nodded. She slowly closed the door behind him.  
  
Indeed her or her dorm were in no shape for visitors, but Squall was an exception.  
  
Squall looked around the room for a moment, than sat himself on a small chair in a dark corner of her room. Quistis also sat herself. Slowly she lowered her body to her bed.  
  
Squall stared into her eyes for a long period of time, than came to his sense once more. "I was just hoping you were doing better. I heard Cid came to motivate you back to work. We were all worrying about you since you hadn't came to class in a few days."  
  
"I'm fine now, I just needed a few days to reflect on myself. I'll be back in the class tomorrow for your final day before the SeeD field exam. I'm glad you came by, it makes me feel good that someone care about me beyond the scope of needing me to work." With this they booth smiled, staring still into the other's eyes.  
  
Squall began to slowly move in his chair, as if he was getting impatient. "Well...uh...I better get going, I have a few things to do to prepare for the exam before than." Squall said this in a manner that suggested he had more to say, but was unwilling to actually say it. Slowly he rose and walked towards the door. Quistis hastily got up to open the door for him on his way out. She had hoped that Squall had come for more than just a check up, but apparently her wish would not be granter. As Squall left the room he turned back to her. For a moment they gazed at each other, eyes in deep thought.  
  
Squall moved hesitantly, as if confused of what exactly to do, and without notice reached over and put his hand to Quistis' check while he slowly locked his lips to hers. Stunned, Quistis continued the kiss, confused of where it had come from. Apparently she had gotten more than she wanted.  
  
The embrace ended. Squall looked at Quistis, his cheeks bright red. For a moment longer he just stared, then turned and ran down the hall in the direction of his dorm. Quistis slowly closed the door, locking it behind her. Confused thoughts jumbled all around her mind. What had just happened? Why had it happened? And so on.  
  
For a moment she reflected, pining for their lips to embrace once more. She knew this would not happen at the current time however, and realized it was getting late. Tomorrow she was to return to work. She needed as much rest as she could get. Without another moments hesitation, she found her way to bed, and had a long, sleepless night.  
  
A/N:There you go. Yeah a bit sappy, but oh well. And its real late now, so if I messed up on spelling or grammar or a sentence seems awkward I apologize ahead of time. I just really wanted to get this chapter done before I forgot, and I should edit it in the morning, but I'll be way to bust tomorrow, she I'll just post It now. Hope you are enjoying! 


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